05.29.09
Posted in Logan at 5:22 pm by kimi
Some difficult days ahead . . . we’ll be celebrating Logan’s 1st birthday with the family on Sunday night. We never thought we’d be celebrating his 1st birthday like this . . . no party favors, no goodie bags, no presents, no 1-year-old rascal trying to blow out his candles.
We’re both taking a “mental health” day on Monday, which is Logan’s actual birthday. We’ll be stopping by the hospital to visit with our NICU family. We haven’t been there in a looong time . . . not sure how hard it’ll be to be there on Logan’s birthday. June 1st will always be a bittersweet day for us . . . it’s the happiest day because it’s the day that Logan came into our lives, but it’s also a sad reminder of what we’ve lost.
My emotions have been “rollercoastering” up & down lately . . . I’m just barely keeping it together . . . some days I feel fairly human, and some days I don’t even recognize who I am anymore. Always on my mind is the fact that July 27th is just around the corner. Like I said . . . difficult days ahead.
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05.27.09
Posted in Logan at 10:32 am by kimi
It’s hard to believe it, but today makes 10 months since Logan left us. Even harder to believe is that Logan’s 1st birthday is just 5 days away! We miss him so much. Sorry . . . just a quick post because recess just ended.
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05.10.09
Posted in Logan at 10:24 pm by kimi
It was a bittersweet 1st mommy’s day for me . . . had a nice lunch at my parent’s house this afternoon with the whole family. The day was full of memories of our sweet Logan and wishes for things that might have been if Logan were still with us. This was not at all how I envisioned my first mother’s day to be . . . in my mind, I imagined that Lance would get Logan from his crib & bring him into our room so that Logan could wake me up with hugs & sweet kisses. I imagined that we would spend the morning, snuggling in bed together before getting ready to go to lunch. I never imagined that I would be giving “good morning” kisses to the smooth wood of Logan’s urn, rather than his soft cheeks & tiny lips. I miss him.
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