07.31.08
Picking an Urn, When We Should be Picking a Stroller
On Tuesday, we met with Mililani Mortuary to plan Logan’s celebration. All of Logan’s grandparents came with us as our support system. Kim and I thought this would be one of the hardest days since Logan left us. We never thought we’d be planning something like this… we imagined planning his 1st birthday party, but never this.
The night before and the morning of, we asked Logan to guide us and give us strength. We’ve said all along that Logan was a smart cookie and always knew exactly what he wanted and did not want. Tuesday was no different… it may sound crazy but we really felt Logan’s presence and it was as if the answers just presented themselves.
The roughest part was walking into the casket and urn display room. The sight of that many caskets and urns was overwhelming… it didn’t help that right next to the urns was an infant sized casket. There had been tears prior to entering the room, but once we were there, Kim and I had a little bit of a meltdown. It was then that Kim thought, “We should be picking a stroller for our baby, not an urn.” The unfairness of our situation hit us hard. While we stood there in each other’s arms, mourning all the memories that we would never have of Logan growing up, we could feel Logan fighting his way back to us, trying to give us his strength… Giving up and self-pity wasn’t in Logan’s vocabulary.
We gathered ourselves up and went back to the office where everyone else was waiting for us and continued with the planning. We realized that none of the urns were right for Logan… the mortuary put us in contact with Woods and Trophies (the company that does their engraving). Later that day, we selected a beautiful koa urn for Logan. We chose to have a teddy bear and his name engraved on it. We think he would have loved it.