08.06.08
Visiting the NSCU
Since Logan left us last Sunday, Lance & I have already visited the NSCU 3 times. The first visit was on Monday, the day after Logan left us. When we woke up that morning, our initial thought was that Sunday had all just been a horrible nightmare . . . once reality hit us, we realized that we had no reason to get up & go to the hospital. Going to the hospital to visit Logan had been a part of our daily routine for 8 weeks . . . we felt lost, knowing that Logan wasn’t waiting for us.
Although we knew it would be hard to go back, we made the decision to visit the NSCU. The NSCU was Logan’s home . . . the only one he ever knew. All of our memories of Logan are centered around the NSCU . . . we knew that our connection to him would be strongest there.
Going back to the NSCU sort of felt like going home . . . as we walked through the door, we were greeted by familiar faces & familiar sounds. Many nurses, doctors, and NSCU staff were there, ready with hugs & tears for us. These wonderful people were Logan’s family for the 8 weeks that he was with us . . . because they were Logan’s family, they became our family too. As we hugged each of them, we realized that by losing Logan, we also felt like we were losing a part of our family . . . although we can’t bring Logan back, we were happy to know that we could hold onto our NSCU family.
Waynell, the NSCU social worker, brought 2 chairs to Logan’s empty bedside. She pulled a screen around us to give us some privacy & allowed us to sit at his bedside for as long as we wanted. We sat there for a while, listening to all of the familiar sounds . . . after spending 8 weeks there, we knew what every sound meant! Sitting at his empty bedside was difficult, but it helped us to accept that Logan was no longer with us.
By our next visit, Logan’s bedside had already been filled with a new baby. One of Logan’s nurses said that the NSCU is like Vegas . . . it’s open 24/7 & it’s always changing . . . you see something new every time you visit. Although it was hard to see someone else in Logan’s “home”, it showed us that life goes on, especially in the NSCU.