01.28.09
6 Months Without Logan
Yesterday made 6 months since Logan left us . . . we just can’t believe we’ve managed to survive 6 months without our precious baby. Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that we were sitting with Logan in the NSCU . . . other days, it feels like a lifetime since we last patted his back, or rubbed his forehead, or sang him a song.
Every day is a struggle for us . . . every morning we have to convince ourselves to get out of bed, put on a brave face, & face the world without Logan. We have our pretty good days, and we have our really bad days . . . mostly, we have “blah” days. Every time we see something or do something that makes us smile or laugh, it’s always tinged with sadness when we think that Logan isn’t here to experience it with us.  
 We kind of feel like we’re only half the people that we used to be . . . the other half of ourselves went along with Logan on his next journey. I think a part of us with always be with Logan . . . we’ll never be the same people we were before Logan came into our lives.
These past 8 months have, without a doubt, been the most difficult of our entire lives . . . but throughout all of the worrying, pain, & sorrow we’ve learned that we are definitely stronger than we ever thought we could be. Giving Logan back to Aunty Pam on his last day with us was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do. Walking out of the NSCU that day, knowing that we would never see our baby alive again, was nearly an impossible feat. I remember thinking that we would never be able to survive without him . . . and yet, here we are, 6 months later.
We would give anything to change what happened, or to bring him back, but we know that can’t ever happen. Things aren’t getting any easier, and I don’t think it ever really will . . . I think we’re just slowly starting to learn how to adjust to our new “normal”. We were excitedly preparing for our new “normal” to revolve around taking care of & loving Logan . . . now, we have to accept that our “normal” is loving & missing Logan.
WE LOVE YOU LOGAN!! YOU WILL BE IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER!!